I was born at 7:33 on a hot August night in the little town O Middle Town Maryland. My mother lived in a huge old house with a number of aunts uncles and kids. Her room was in the huge walk up attic. She had papered the walls in pale yellow with tiny purple violets. She said it made the room look sunny. She and the aunts had been canning vegetables all day so that we would have something to eat in the winter. She was very tired and sweaty from the heat. Around six o'clock she said she didn't feel so good and was going to go lay down for a while. It wasn't long and she was really feeling bad. My Aunt Babe was with her. They sent my sister Ella down the block to fetch the Dr. Things were happening pretty fast by then and Mom was having a very hard time. Guess I wasn't to eager to come in to this rather ugly world. Babe stepped in to help her and pulled me, screaming my head off , in to this world. That was the beginning of my journey on this planet.

I have been thinking a lot about the injustices in life. So many people have been told how stupid they are and how they will never amount to any thing or that no one will ever want to be with them etc. They have been told that they are not worth anything unless the make lots of money and own lots of things. Unfortunately many people buy in to that garbage and actually believe it. I was one of those for many years. Some where along the way I discovered what a lie that is. You do not need to own a yacht to enjoy the sea. You do not need to own the garden to enjoy the flowers. A smile and a friendly word go a very long way to making you who you are. What does it cost you to give someone a helping hand with out wanting something in return? There are so many wonderful people in this world and many of them don't own more than the clothes on their backs. That does not make them worthless. You do not know where they have been or what they have been through so please don't jusge people because they don't have what you have. Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who has what he or she needs. Not every one is so fortunate. Open up your heart and let the love in and out. You will be so much happier.

Life is often what you make it and sometimes it is what is handed to you. What happens from there on is how you choose to live it.

Today was a very strange day. It seems like nothing was going right for any one. First at the grocery store they way over charged us and we had to go back and straigten that out causing some weird feelings. We decided to go for some icecream which we haven't done in several months. First the girl kept hearing our order wrong then the boy kept dropping the change and the straws and napkins, making him feel weird. We no more than get out of the parking lot and in the middle of the street a woman is screaming at another woman to get the F out of her car. The anger was like a black cloud. It was just plain shocking. We decided that no matter how nice it was outside that we would be better off just going home and being by ourselves. It was just so weird like the whole world was out of kilter there for a short time. Made me feel kind of sick and I just wonder what is going on.

Life is often what you make it and sometimes it is what is handed to you. What happens from there on is how you choose to live it.

I often find myself wondering what my life has been worth. What is my legacy to my children and to this world? So many things that I thought were important seem to have just slipped away. The things that I loved my children think are just the sill whims of an old woman. Why were these things so important to me and why doesn't any one else care about them or see their importance? Why does everyone think they know what I need or should want better than I do. If I ask for help why does it have to be on someone elses terms. Why can't I just get the help I want instead of what someone feels like giving me. All my life I have tried to help other people and I have tried to do it their way. I used to work in home health taking care of elderly people. Some of them had some pretty odd ways of doing things but they had been doing it that way for many years and who am I to say their way is wrong. I would just smile and say okay Miss Pearl we will do it like that. It always brought a smile to her face and made her feel good. Isn't that what we should do? Try to make people feel better about their situations? I just want that sme courtesy extended to me. Would love to hear what others think about this subject. You can bet you will hear more from me.